I am at the point where Onderland definitely seems possible. Tomorrow I should have a good number. I will have a good number (: I realized that most of the time I talk in ways that make it okay for me to mess up because I didn't promise anything. I need to stop that and trust myself. I know I can do this. It is possible.
I went clothes shopping Friday. We were in Old Navy and I was looking for some jeans. All of my jeans are way too big now. I went to the shelves where all the jeans were and pulled a few 18's and even a 20. I went into the dressing room and tried on an 18. They were huge on me! At first I thought that it was the 20 I was wearing. Nope. It was the 18.
I put them all back and pulled a 16. I went back into the dressing room. I remember standing there holding up the jeans and thinking there is no way. I was worried they wouldn't even get up over my hips. I decided to try them on expecting them not to fit. So, I pulled them up and... they buttoned easily. I could have stood there and cried. I didn't. I just smiled.
I am looking forward to school tomorrow. I also weigh in tomorrow. Everyone at school hasn't seen me in awhile. I was 242 lbs. the last time they saw me. I'll just tell you that I am at 213 lbs. as of this morning. That is 29 lbs. Will they notice? I know some people will because I had people tell me in band that I have lost weight and look good when I was at 216 lbs.
I am so happy now (:
Oh! and I saw a guy I knew a few years ago from a school I once attended. When I talked to him he was a pretty big boy. I saw him at Shoe Carnival yesterday and he looked amazing! Looked like he dropped 100 lbs. I was shocked. It gave me a lot of inspiration.
I have to go for now.
Lots of love,
Jessica
No comments:
Post a Comment