Size 16 Jeans

     I am at the point where Onderland definitely seems possible. Tomorrow I should have a good number. I will have a good number (: I realized that most of the time I talk in ways that make it okay for me to mess up because I didn't promise anything. I need to stop that and trust myself. I know I can do this. It is possible.

     I went clothes shopping Friday. We were in Old Navy and I was looking for some jeans. All of my jeans are way too big now. I went to the shelves where all the jeans were and pulled a few 18's and even a 20. I went into the dressing room and tried on an 18. They were huge on me! At first I thought that it was the 20 I was wearing. Nope. It was the 18.

     I put them all back and pulled a 16. I went back into the dressing room. I remember standing there holding up the jeans and thinking there is no way. I was worried they wouldn't even get up over my hips. I decided to try them on expecting them not to fit. So, I pulled them up and... they buttoned easily. I could have stood there and cried. I didn't. I just smiled.

     I am looking forward to school tomorrow. I also weigh in tomorrow. Everyone at school hasn't seen me in awhile. I was 242 lbs. the last time they saw me. I'll just tell you that I am at 213 lbs. as of this morning. That is 29 lbs. Will they notice? I know some people will because I had people tell me in band that I have lost weight and look good when I was at 216 lbs.

I am so happy now (:

Oh! and I saw a guy I knew a few years ago from a school I once attended. When I talked to him he was a pretty big boy. I saw him at Shoe Carnival yesterday and he looked amazing! Looked like he dropped 100 lbs. I was shocked. It gave me a lot of inspiration.

I have to go for now.
Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Eight

7/26/10- 220.2 lbs.
8/02/10- 216.2 lbs.
-4 lbs.

It got down to 215, but I let myself eat what I want on the weekend, and I loved every moment of it! You got to let yourself have a little something every now and then. (:

Lots of love,
Jessica

Update

     I am on lunch break. So far I have done good. I am aiming for 1,400 or 1,500 calories.

     For breakfast I had 3/4 cup of Special K Chocolatey delight cereal, 1/2 cup of skim milk, one slice of whole wheat bread, and a tablespoon of peanut butter. For lunch I had a large bowl of fruit. There was a banana, strawberries, and a sliced up apple. I also had half of a sandwich. It had 3 slices of turkey lunch meat, 1/2 a slice of swiss cheese, and mustard on one slice of wheat bread.

     I have left myself 750 calories for dinner and a snack later tonight. I am thinking about a big salad with grilled chicken. Then some popcorn for a snack. Not the bug buttery bags but one of the 100 calorie popcorn bags.

     I feel like I am forcing myself to eat this food though. It seems like a lot. I wish I felt hungry. That sounds weird to say, but it is nice knowing that your body needs something and is telling you that. My body doesn't want to tell me that so I don't know if I am actually hungry. It is confusing. The heat has fried my brain. I am not myself. I didn't have this problem on the weekend when we had off. It should go away after this week of band camp. Hopefully.

How are you guys doing?

Weigh In for Week Seven

7/19/10- 226.0 lbs.
7/26/10- 220.2 lbs.

-5.8 lbs.

     It is a lot, and it came from hard work. I need to eat more though. Band camp has left me feeling tired and exhausted. It takes a lot out of you. We spent 20 hours outside teaching the newbies the fundamentals of marching. This week we will have 26 hours out in the heat learning our show. I am going to be leaving in a bit for rehearsal. I just wanted to give you my plan.

     I need to eat more. I don't seem to notice when I am hungry.My calorie intake was low (800-900 calories), and the lack of appetite has to do with the heat and being tired. So, I am monitoring what I eat and making sure I get enough of the good healthy foods that my body needs. I am hoping that my body adjusts back to getting around 1,500 calories a day. It may cause a gain or a maintain because I basically put myself into a starvation mode, but I am fine with that. This isn't about the number on the scale but about my health.

     The problem is I didn't realize this until yesterday. I just haven't been feeling hungry. Hmmm I dont know. I will write more later.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Blogger Award and a Tiny Update

So I received the Versatile Blogger Award!

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about your reward.


Thank you Cheesy Noodles from My Stupid Weight Loss Blog (:



Seven things about me:
1. I put bread into the toaster upside down.
2. Marching band is my life.
3. I can play a song about 100 times and not be tired with it.
4. I eat yogurt with a fork.
5. My mom gets mad when I eat yogurt with a fork because then I have to get a spoon to get the yogurt from the bottom of the yogurt cup.
6. I'm not as uncomfortable with my appearance now.
7. I really like reading blogs.


So, I have been really busy, and truthfully I don't know that many new blogs out there. That is why I have decided to nominate Stephanie from Weight a Minute. 1 out of the 15 I should have nominated. Ah well... ;)

I'm going to have a good number on the scale Monday. Thank you band camp for kicking my ass.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Six

7/12/10- 228.2 lbs.
7/19/10- 226.0 lbs.

-2.2 lbs.

Busy! Busy! Busy!
Lots of love,
Jessica

Desire to Do More

     I decided last night that I really wanted to kick this weight loss up. I have been putting in effort, but I feel like I could be doing SO much more! Plus, I WANT to do so much more. I WANT to exercise. I WANT to eat healthy delicious foods. I WANT to go the extra mile and give it all I have to give. I have never been someone who just goes through life doing the absolute minimum. I don't want to survive. I want to live. That is how I feel about this journey.

    I am feeling pretty motivated. I woke up and walked for an hour outside. It was cloudy and not cool but not hot. I also had a big bowl of fruit for breakfast after my walk. And then I got on the computer and decided to post this to tell you guys I am going to start putting in more effort. (:

    Also, I forgot to say but when I was at Holiday World and was getting dressed after visiting the water park I noticed something. My belt. I once used the second hole. It was even a little tight at the second hole at one point. I am now up to the fifth hole. I didn't even notice it before because I haven't really worn jeans very much. Another thing? The capris I was wearing with that belt were very loose on me. I now need a belt to wear them. Yah! :D

Lots of love,
Jessica