My New Highest Weight

     My new "highest weight" is 211.0 lbs. A lot of this is water weight, but some of it is going to probably be hard to get rid of. The hard part about losing weight is going off plan and trying to get back on it. My journey back to 206.6 starts here. I either will lose weight or maintain from now until the beginning of November. I know that once I am back on track and losing the weight that I won't want to just maintain. I will probably keep going.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Messy All Over the Place Update

Uh... I really don't know what is up guys :/

I JUST KEEP EATING?!?!
My weight is up. This morning it was at 209.8 lbs. It will be even higher tomorrow because I ate terrible today too. I usually would feel really depressed about this, but I don't this time. I am actually enjoying life. I just am enjoying food too :S haha

So...I am working to get that number back down, but I don't know what I will see Monday morning. I am going to be honest and say that I would be very happy with myself if I maintain during football season. I mean this weekend we have a football game. I wont get home until 12:00 a.m. Then I have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to be on a bus by 5:30 a.m. the morning that follows that football game. I have been eating on the go.

My life is so hectic! But I am enjoying it. I am really happy (: I have found some peace. I haven't found complete peace with myself, but I have found some. I like who I am. My goal for football season is to keep off the weight I have lost. I am not going to stress myself over getting a low number and watching everything I eat when my life is already pretty stressed. So... I am going to do enough to keep my weight where it is.

I will weigh tomorrow morning and try to post it on here. I will then work from there to get to my lowest posted weight of 206.6 lbs. I want to keep it under that number. Wish me luck and a good night's rest (: Big day tomorrow.

Sorry for the messy post :P
Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Thirteen

8/30/10- 206.6 lbs.
9/06/10- 206.6 lbs.
-0 lbs.

     I know I said I would have a good number up here. It didn't happen. I am not upset with this maintain, but I am also not pleased. I didn't do anything to deserve a loss. I was expecting a gain. Life has just been so crazy! Stress has been getting to me. My parents are driving me insane. Everything was great until Sunday. I ate so much yesterday to the point where I felt sickly. I don't know how to handle these binges yet, but I know that quitting here will move me in the wrong direction.

     I need to refocus. I am going to start tracking everything I eat. I am going to start drinking more water. I have marching band practice for my exercise, but I also want to do more than that. I have 6.7 lbs. to go before I am in Onderland! I really want to make that by September 30th. I will tell you where I am when that day comes. Wish me luck!

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Twelve

8/23/10- 206.6 lbs.
8/30/10- 206.6 lbs.
-0 lbs.

     This last week was so stressful! I had so much going on and my eating was really bad over the weekend. I started back today though. I'll have a good number next week.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Eleven

8/16/10- 209.6 lbs.
8/23/10- 206.6 lbs.
-3.0 lbs

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Ten

8/09/10- 214.4 lbs.
8/16/10- 209.6 lbs.
-4.8

I know you guys don't get much from me now, but I swear I am working my butt off and giving this weight loss thing all I have. I am going to try and post a little more often if I can.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Nine

8/02/10- 216.2 lbs.
8/09/10- 214.4 lbs.
-1.8


Okay. Yesterday did not work out well. I didn't have anything to make a salad or even a protein shake. I could have found something, but I ended up have pizza with the family. So the number will go back down to my 213 soon enough. I'm happy with a 1.8 anyways (: But I want this week to be better.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Size 16 Jeans

     I am at the point where Onderland definitely seems possible. Tomorrow I should have a good number. I will have a good number (: I realized that most of the time I talk in ways that make it okay for me to mess up because I didn't promise anything. I need to stop that and trust myself. I know I can do this. It is possible.

     I went clothes shopping Friday. We were in Old Navy and I was looking for some jeans. All of my jeans are way too big now. I went to the shelves where all the jeans were and pulled a few 18's and even a 20. I went into the dressing room and tried on an 18. They were huge on me! At first I thought that it was the 20 I was wearing. Nope. It was the 18.

     I put them all back and pulled a 16. I went back into the dressing room. I remember standing there holding up the jeans and thinking there is no way. I was worried they wouldn't even get up over my hips. I decided to try them on expecting them not to fit. So, I pulled them up and... they buttoned easily. I could have stood there and cried. I didn't. I just smiled.

     I am looking forward to school tomorrow. I also weigh in tomorrow. Everyone at school hasn't seen me in awhile. I was 242 lbs. the last time they saw me. I'll just tell you that I am at 213 lbs. as of this morning. That is 29 lbs. Will they notice? I know some people will because I had people tell me in band that I have lost weight and look good when I was at 216 lbs.

I am so happy now (:

Oh! and I saw a guy I knew a few years ago from a school I once attended. When I talked to him he was a pretty big boy. I saw him at Shoe Carnival yesterday and he looked amazing! Looked like he dropped 100 lbs. I was shocked. It gave me a lot of inspiration.

I have to go for now.
Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Eight

7/26/10- 220.2 lbs.
8/02/10- 216.2 lbs.
-4 lbs.

It got down to 215, but I let myself eat what I want on the weekend, and I loved every moment of it! You got to let yourself have a little something every now and then. (:

Lots of love,
Jessica

Update

     I am on lunch break. So far I have done good. I am aiming for 1,400 or 1,500 calories.

     For breakfast I had 3/4 cup of Special K Chocolatey delight cereal, 1/2 cup of skim milk, one slice of whole wheat bread, and a tablespoon of peanut butter. For lunch I had a large bowl of fruit. There was a banana, strawberries, and a sliced up apple. I also had half of a sandwich. It had 3 slices of turkey lunch meat, 1/2 a slice of swiss cheese, and mustard on one slice of wheat bread.

     I have left myself 750 calories for dinner and a snack later tonight. I am thinking about a big salad with grilled chicken. Then some popcorn for a snack. Not the bug buttery bags but one of the 100 calorie popcorn bags.

     I feel like I am forcing myself to eat this food though. It seems like a lot. I wish I felt hungry. That sounds weird to say, but it is nice knowing that your body needs something and is telling you that. My body doesn't want to tell me that so I don't know if I am actually hungry. It is confusing. The heat has fried my brain. I am not myself. I didn't have this problem on the weekend when we had off. It should go away after this week of band camp. Hopefully.

How are you guys doing?

Weigh In for Week Seven

7/19/10- 226.0 lbs.
7/26/10- 220.2 lbs.

-5.8 lbs.

     It is a lot, and it came from hard work. I need to eat more though. Band camp has left me feeling tired and exhausted. It takes a lot out of you. We spent 20 hours outside teaching the newbies the fundamentals of marching. This week we will have 26 hours out in the heat learning our show. I am going to be leaving in a bit for rehearsal. I just wanted to give you my plan.

     I need to eat more. I don't seem to notice when I am hungry.My calorie intake was low (800-900 calories), and the lack of appetite has to do with the heat and being tired. So, I am monitoring what I eat and making sure I get enough of the good healthy foods that my body needs. I am hoping that my body adjusts back to getting around 1,500 calories a day. It may cause a gain or a maintain because I basically put myself into a starvation mode, but I am fine with that. This isn't about the number on the scale but about my health.

     The problem is I didn't realize this until yesterday. I just haven't been feeling hungry. Hmmm I dont know. I will write more later.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Blogger Award and a Tiny Update

So I received the Versatile Blogger Award!

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about your reward.


Thank you Cheesy Noodles from My Stupid Weight Loss Blog (:



Seven things about me:
1. I put bread into the toaster upside down.
2. Marching band is my life.
3. I can play a song about 100 times and not be tired with it.
4. I eat yogurt with a fork.
5. My mom gets mad when I eat yogurt with a fork because then I have to get a spoon to get the yogurt from the bottom of the yogurt cup.
6. I'm not as uncomfortable with my appearance now.
7. I really like reading blogs.


So, I have been really busy, and truthfully I don't know that many new blogs out there. That is why I have decided to nominate Stephanie from Weight a Minute. 1 out of the 15 I should have nominated. Ah well... ;)

I'm going to have a good number on the scale Monday. Thank you band camp for kicking my ass.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Six

7/12/10- 228.2 lbs.
7/19/10- 226.0 lbs.

-2.2 lbs.

Busy! Busy! Busy!
Lots of love,
Jessica

Desire to Do More

     I decided last night that I really wanted to kick this weight loss up. I have been putting in effort, but I feel like I could be doing SO much more! Plus, I WANT to do so much more. I WANT to exercise. I WANT to eat healthy delicious foods. I WANT to go the extra mile and give it all I have to give. I have never been someone who just goes through life doing the absolute minimum. I don't want to survive. I want to live. That is how I feel about this journey.

    I am feeling pretty motivated. I woke up and walked for an hour outside. It was cloudy and not cool but not hot. I also had a big bowl of fruit for breakfast after my walk. And then I got on the computer and decided to post this to tell you guys I am going to start putting in more effort. (:

    Also, I forgot to say but when I was at Holiday World and was getting dressed after visiting the water park I noticed something. My belt. I once used the second hole. It was even a little tight at the second hole at one point. I am now up to the fifth hole. I didn't even notice it before because I haven't really worn jeans very much. Another thing? The capris I was wearing with that belt were very loose on me. I now need a belt to wear them. Yah! :D

Lots of love,
Jessica

Working Hard

     I've have been working really hard this week. And I really am not expecting a loss this week. Water retention has been working against me. PMS really sucks. But that is fine because that means a bigger number next week. Right? (: Anyhow, band camp is next week. AGHH!! Do you realize that it feels like a million degrees outside? I hope I don't die of heat exhaustion... or sunburn for that matter :P

     So, I was 100% on plan today. I had a protein shake for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, fruit for a snack, and a salad for dinner. I would like to say I ate perfectly today. Actually, I am going to say it. I ate perfectly today. Uhmm... I went to a weight class today, and I could tell that the walking from Holiday World really worked my legs because they felt like complete mush after the class. I also went out for a jog later. It wasn't that successful though because it started to rain, and I had to head back to the house. So, I got in 15 minutes of about 50% running and 50% walking at a brisk pace. Ah well.

     Trying to get in tons of fluids and hoping I drop that water weight before Monday, but if I don't it will surely drop in the next week. I didn't notice it before but that is why I lost 4 lbs. the first week I started blogging and 5 lbs. the second week. I was carrying about two pounds of water when I weighed in after that first week. So, without that I would have lost 6 the first week and 3 the second. It seems to make more sense because it is very rare that you lose more your second week. I mean that has always been what I have known.

     About the before picture. It was taken, but I haven't really gotten the time to upload it. Actually, I could make time, but I just haven't thought much about it. I will try to get it up soon.

Well toodles! and...
Lots of love,
Jessica

Holiday World

     So, yesterday I went with a friend of mine to Holiday World. We did TONS of walking. A total of about 6 hours. This is good, but the way I ate wasn't. I don't care either because unlike every other time I have been to carnivals and theme parks I was actually in control of what I ate.

     It was 5:00 a.m. when I had a protein bar before we started driving. We stop around 9:30 a.m. at McDonald's (it seriously was the only place we could stop and eat for miles... we seemed to be surrounded by cornfields for about 99% of the time). I got a sausage biscuit and a water. I was hungry and it looked yummy and was. We got to the park and this is where the bad park comes in. We didn't eat for the next 7 hours. We had some locker issues and our money and everything was in there. So, when it came time to eat I had two slices of pizza, a bread stick, and water. I didn't feel completely in control at this point because I was SO hungry, but I knew what I was eating and said it was okay because I was burning it off with all the walking. The last thing I had was an ice cream cone right before we left that I couldn't even finish.

THAT IS UNHEARD OF! I have NEVER not been able to finish and ice cream cone. Ever! Ice cream is my weakness (that and pasta).

     So, some things have changed. 1) I'm not always thinking of food. Usually, going to parks like this I was always thinking of food. I would eat whenever I got the chance and would eat way too much. 2) I am listening to my body tell me it is full. I didn't eat all of the pizza or the ice cream. I stopped when I was satisfied.

I'm proud (: but I want to make the next time even better by deciding ahead of time what I will eat and when.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Five

6/28/10- 230.6 lbs.
7/12/10- 228.2 lbs.
-2.4 lbs.

So in these two weeks I basically went up to 235 and back down to 230 and even lower. I am very proud that I got rid of that weight I gained the week I was gone. So... you could say that I lost 6.8 lbs. (and gained about 4.4) in two weeks. I am sure that that can't be very good for my body but I assume a lot of that was just water. My body is now getting back into routine. I'm good.

Lots of love,
Jessica

Deadlines? Dates? Numbers?

     I really feel like I am slacking with this blog. That needs to stop now. So, this  morning I was back up a pound at 231.8. This really is getting hard for me with all of the things that have been going on. I also am stressing myself out with two important dates coming up. On the 18th of this month I am going to visit family for a small party for my grandmother. She has just retired, and everyone wants to throw her a little something at a restaurant in Chattanooga. I really want to be able to wear something and feel good in it, but it is a week away. I need to stop stressing because it caused some pretty bad eating and that one pound gain. I don't want to have that happen again. This is for life. Not for a party. Not for a week. It is a life style change.

     The second date is April 4th. This will be the first day back to school, and I stress about this because I doubt people will notice a difference. I shouldn't care all too much about this, but I do. I would be happy if just one person noticed, but who knows? Whatever happens happens. I just have to try and get my mind off these dates. It is a lifestyle change, Jessica. Stop with the dates and the numbers!

Lots of love,
Jessica

I'm Back!

     Sorry for not posting, but life has been kicking my butt. Really! I can't say why, but it has been a tough week. My sister and I had to stay with my grandmother for a little while, and I must say that healthy eating wasn't on the top of my list of things to do. I ate things I probably shouldn't have eaten, but I am not going to sit here and cry over it. I came home and weighed in the next morning at 235 lbs. Eh... 5 pounds in just about 5 days. I followed my plan that day, and this morning I weighed in at 232.8 lbs. So that is where I stand. I really don't want to cry because I had a nice time. It was good for my sister and me to get away from some of the things that were happening at home. It was nice. Now that the family issues were resolved I can focus again.

I'm back on track. Losing the fat (: It all good... hehe

Lots of love,
Jessica

Weigh In for Week Three

Well...

6/21/10- 232.4 lbs.
6/28/10- 230.6 lbs.
-1.8 lbs.

Not bad (:

Lots of love,
Jessica